One, two, three, take a deep breath and say the words.
Type them and make it real.
We are going to move back to the Netherlands.
Remigrating after almost a decade in New York we’ve made the decision.
It is time.
In all these years I never thought about moving back.
New York was home.
Not a temporary place to stay. I worked hard to get my green card. I did not do that to go back.
There were many tough times. New York definitely makes you pay your dues. But I got through and grew stronger.
New York molded me. When I got here, I had just turned 30. Now I’m facing my 40th and will do the whole move again in reverse.
Only this time I’m not going by myself.
I’m with a husband, a cat, and a baby.
We signed the contract to sell our home, now it’s a matter of waiting for closing and getting our tickets to get on a plane back.
Starting over again. It scares me and excites me. I’m looking forward to it and I’m dreading it.
There are so many reasons to stay in New York. And so many reasons to leave.
There are many things I miss about the Netherlands, and at the same time, so many things I wish were different.
But do I even know how it is there nowadays? Will I fall victim to reverse culture shock? Of course, I know how the country was when I left it. I hear stories about how it is now.
I know things have changed.
I have changed too.
The main reason to jump into all of this is my little boy. It is true that when you have a baby you look at life different. I started looking at my life in a renewed way. I started missing my family stronger than I had ever had. I started to feel selfish staying in New York, while he has this large group of people who love him on the other side of the world.
Ask me today and I’m scared senseless if this is the right thing to do.
Ask me tomorrow and I’m super excited and eager to go.
This rollercoaster is moving and I’m breathing through it.
Wish me luck.